Home » Behavioural Change » Online dating: It is not hard and yet some people make it so hard…

Online dating: It is not hard and yet some people make it so hard…



To develop a romantic relationship is one of the basic human impulses.

However, in today’s world, there are a lot of obstacles that prevent someone from fulfilling this basic impulse – of meeting the love of his or her life and developing a friendship that sometimes culminates in marriage. For some, they are restrained by company policies that prohibit co-workers having romantic relationships, others just cannot stomach a bar scene, dance hall or other public places like restaurants and supermarkets. Meeting a soul mate on your way to work is probably even less possible. The result is opting for Online Dating.

The Wikipedia describes Online dating (OD) or Internet dating as a dating system which allows individuals, couples and groups to make contact and communicate with each other over the Internet, usually with the objective of developing a personal, romantic, or sexual relationship. This is done through the use of personal computers or cell phones. It generally requires a prospective member to provide personal information, before they can search the service provider’s database for other individuals using criteria they set, such as age range, gender and location. Most sites allow members to upload photos of themselves and browse the photos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIP), and message boards. Some sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee. Other sites depend on advertising for their revenue. Examples of such sites are: Badoo, cupids match and a lot more.

Today, millions of people are turning to such sites to search for love and connection. This number is growing in leaps and bounds. The sites are also mushrooming, and the competition to drive traffic to sites by site owners is increasing. Many are increasingly taking a more focused view targeting very specific groups or interests. There are sites for seniors, sites for Muslims, sites for fitness-oriented people, sites for people just looking for friends and sites for people who are interested in more adult activities, religious based sites, single parents sites, the list is endless. The challenge is: trusting the person on the other side.

Many have given testimonies of finding love, others being scammed. Being a victim of scammers is one of the worst things that could happen to you. However, if you are careful and cautious, there are tale-signs.

First and foremost, they declare undying love for you before they have even gotten to know you. They are quick to share their email addresses and sometimes telephones and also declare that they have a trip to your country.

Interesting is that if you Google their names and/or telephone numbers, the internet automatically takes you to a scammers scooping site(s). People have dedicated their time and energy to exposing these people. They have opened open platforms where you can place your experience, paste their letters and even photographs. Always look out for scammers.

A bit that puzzled me for a while was how they got the photographs. You find that scammers steal another persons’ identity, photographs and even relatives photos. Try this …

Looking at Facebook for instance, a site that has gotten millions of people addicted to it. Here, members open their profile and share their photos to ends. When a scammer contacts you through a dating site, he/she is quick to share their Facebook account. That way, ecstatic you, accept them as Facebook friends. They then have access to your Facebook photo album. Here they are free to choose the photos of their choice and benefit. That way, they steal your identity and use them to scam someone else, probably from another planet. Stop for a minute and ask yourself: what is the chance that you will find out? Minimal I would say.

These scammers are so clever and wait in the dark to pounce on innocent victims. If you study their trails, they are basically the same. They want to extort money from you. They will tell lies of lucrative journey and if you follow on, at some point, they are suddenly stuck and either need more money to complete the alledged deal or have lost their credit cards and are in a strange country. This is the point where you run and without looking back.

Another way you can try to scoop them out of their dubious hide hole is, after they have given you their photographs, insist on a video skype chat. That way, you can easiy compare their actual faces with the photos.

Another way yet, though more technical is to add a web stat site to your blog or website. Then share the link with them and ask them to visit it there and then. Straight after, check it and it will give you the exact location of their whereabouts. Interesting is that most times, the locations given and indicated on the site are totally different.

Alternatively, only provide a Gmail account to them. Then check the source of the email and compare with what was given to you previously.

There are many other ways… Just please be careful next time you decide to take this journey and when you land on one of them, expose them on scammer sites.




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